Feeling smart November 30, 2007

Several weeks ago I ordered Reviving Ophelia, but, for one reason or another,  I have not had an opportunity to start reading it until last night.  I was a little apprehensive about reading it, it has been awhile since I did anything more intellectual than teach high school students, that that will kill brain cells faster than crack. I was worried for nothing though, it is extremely readable.  I only got about 40 minutes in before exhaustion kicked in and I fell asleep, but they were 40 pretty incredible pages.  I can’t wait to read the rest.   As someone who works with dozens of adolescent girls, and sees firsthand the level of trouble teenage girls are in right now, I am excited at the prospect of learning some new tools to help then grow into healthy women who are resistant to all the awful messages our culture sends about them.

On a completely different note — it’s November 30!  I made it!  I am a NaBloPoMo success story!

One year November 29, 2007

One year ago today I was on my way to the opening of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. To understand how life-changing that event would be, we must rewind our story about 8 hours.

At ten o’clock that morning, I received a rude and nasty rather insistent call from the property manager of the house where I had been living for eight years. Her news: my landlord had come a visitin’ from his mansion in Key Largo and was, in her words “completely horrified” with the state of the yard. More specifically, he was upset about the leaves in the yard.

Let’s take a minute, shall we, and look at the date. It’s November 29. The leaves weren’t even done falling off the trees yet, and he was mad at me for having them on the ground. Mad enough to threaten to evict me if they were not all up in two weeks. This after I lived there eight years, never missing a rent payment or causing any trouble at all. Eight years, during which the heat broke 6 times, the AC broke twice, and the well ran dry.

On my way to Charlie Brown, I was fuming. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I was royally pissed off. I watched the play, which did wonders for my mood, transforming it from “I want to punch that bastard in his face” to “How about I find a less criminal way to get out of the situation”. After the play I talked to a friend of mine, who had also come to see the show. In the course of the conversation, she mentioned she was buying a house. I asked if she liked her realtor. She gave me a card.

Tonight, in about 10 minutes, I am going to the opening night of The Homecoming. The synchronicity is beautiful, since later tonight, I will heading back to my very own home.

Discontent November 28, 2007

I am not sure why, but I am really restless lately.  In the past I loved my job, but this year I don’t.  I always thought I would teach forever, but now I am wondering if that will really happy.  I wish I knew if this feeling of restlessness was a passing phase or an indication that it is time for me to start looking to make a change.

I’m pretty rooted — I own a house, I have been in my job for 5 years, and I have lived in this town for 13.  I have friends here, and I am reluctant to leave.  But part of me wants to do something completely different; go back to school full time, move to a real city, maybe try a new career.  I tried changing my hair color, but it didn’t help.  I didn’t really think it would.

Deadline Junkie November 27, 2007

In the past few days, I have recognized something rather disturbing about myself.

I am addicted to pressure. Without it, I feel lost. I love being way too busy way too much.

The problem is, I don’t feel any pressure at all to do normal, everyday maintenance kinds of things. I love the pressure of putting a performance together, but doing the dishes or buying groceries? Meh. That stuff is always there, and if it doesn’t get done today, it will get done tomorrow, or this weekend, or sometime. The only time my house gets clean is when I am having people over, and then it is at the last minute, usually as people are walking through the door.

So right now, I feel lost. My next production doesn’t start until February, nearly 3 months away. My house is a mess, but I can’t seem to do anything about it other than look at the mess and decide to clean tomorrow, and play The Sims today. I’m bored.

Cold and wet and yuck. November 26, 2007

I really hate cold, wet weather.  I don’t like cold dry weather either, but at least there is sun on those cold dry days.  There is something so very depressing about the darkness that comes along with winter rain — that unrelenting dim, not quite dark, not light enough, and the cold seems to penetrate through walls and sweaters.  Summer can’t come back fast enough.

Compulsion November 25, 2007

Yesterday, after I blogged about the story idea that had appeared in my head,  I started writing.  Well, to be more accurate, I installed open office on the new computer, and then I started writing.  I was right, the creation was much more difficult than the inception.  I wrote a story sketch, and it felt like all my words were wrong, even though I was just trying to capture an idea.  Them I started on the story itself, and I had the oddest feeling, as if someone else’s voice was speaking through me.  The language was both like and unlike mine, and even though I knew I was creating a character, it seemed that the character was creating the story.

I have heard writers talk about this phenomenon before, that moment when a novel or play or even poem takes on its own life, and becomes its ow organism, but that came so swiftly it was breathtaking.  I only got a few paragraphs written, but I know the rest is there; waiting, holding its breath, until word by word it can come alive.

Burdened November 24, 2007

Today while sitting in Starbucks with a friend, discussing a story he is working on, there arrived in my mind something new. Another story, screaming to be told. A full community, people with passions and fears and hatreds. A man on a journey, one whose end is not yet known. Couples whose love is fading. Faith lost, and the people frantically scrabbling to hold onto it.

Now I am burdened with the responsibility to tell this story, as if I owe it to those people in my mind. The conception was sudden — the birthing will be long and hard. But like all births, it is inevitable.

Welcome to the 21st century November 23, 2007

Recently I acquired a computer that could receive wireless internet. It never seemed worth it to upgrade the old one, and I still don’t have wireless at home, so until this week I never realized what a wonder it is. My sister and her husband have a wireless network, and I am completely in love with it. Wireless router just moved up about 18 places on the priority list.

Lauren November 22, 2007

My sister — she has a big head.  I love her though.   Her kid is cute.

Singularly uninteresting November 21, 2007

I’m in Greensboro, hanging out with my sister and brother-in-law and their spawn…I got to eat my favorite food ever today, which I can’t get at home…Torrid was having a massive sale today…the spawn is cute…that’s it.

Edited just for Prue — My favorite thing is a rosemary and olive oil bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon, capers, and tomatoes.