cavil \KAV-uhl\, intransitive verb:
1. To raise trivial or frivolous objections; to find fault without good reason.
transitive verb:
1. To raise trivial objections to.
noun:
1. A trivial or frivolous objection.
I love my bellydance class.
I LOVE my bellydance class.
A new class started this week, and some of the new women make me sad. Not because they are struggling with the dancing, goodness knows we all do that, but because of the comments I heard them making about their own bodies, the constant self-criticisms that were uttered in a class which, to me, should be a safe place. Bellydance is a form that glorifies the womanly body, how we move and shake and all the wonders we can do. It is a wonderfully body-positive art. So to hear those women making such comments about themselves felt like a violation of some sacred trust.
I don’t understand this need we as women have to tear our bodies down. I compliment a friend’s outfit and in response she point out how big she thinks her hips look in it, or how she had to buy it because she didn’t have other clothes that fit, or how it looked so much better 5 pounds ago, or, or, or, or ad nauseum. I read blogs of friends who are beautiful, accomplished, intelligent women and they make comments about how “ugly” their bodies are. I condemn myself along with everyone else — I am just as guilty of this particular self-destruction.
I am saddened by this behavior, and angry too, that women feel so compelled to hate their bodies and broadcast that hate to the world, as if self-hatred were a virtue and we were all seeking its reward. It’s so very sad.